We ♥ Dads Apr22

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We ♥ Dads

We are pleased to share this sweet story from one of our KnowsyMoms readers — A tribute to all the knowsy dads out there.

And he’s gone yet again…

The sounds of quiet whimpers were barely heard from the other room. Sitting in silence while trying to control the sobs had not become any easier with each goodbye. The tears were for our middle baby who once again came home for a couple of days and left to go back to college which he was now calling “home.” The scenario probably sounds familiar to many parents. Only these tears, sobs, and whimpers are from his father. Yes, my emotional, loving, and attached husband.  

I remember it like it was yesterday. We met at UCLA. My sorority was doing Mardi Gras with his fraternity. I knew I was going to marry him. My college sweetheart who would one day become my husband and I were dreaming about the family we would have one day. He said his dream was to coach his son’s little league team. Those dreams not only came true…he set out to be the most hands on and caring father who ever lived. Even my own father, of blessed memory, who tended to be critical often said  with admiration “Tim is one hell of a fantastic father. Wow, he is just terrific.”  Having the highest respect for my dad as a devoted father and hearing his profound words meant the world to us.

Tim was and is extremely close to all our children. He had an especially close bond to our middle child who he affectionately called “Butterhead” referring to his gorgeous blonde locks of curly hair. Tim coached all of our kids’ soccer, basketball and baseball teams. He managed Daniel’s baseball teams so he spent the most amount of his fathering years with Daniel. Our eldest son traded his baseball bat for his guitar while I was chaffuering around our baby girl who was our dancing princess to one class after another.  I never realized this unique closeness until Tim saw Daniel’s Bar Mitzvah montage for the first time. He couldn’t watch it without bawling his eyes out. Not just tears but uncontrollable sobbing each and every time. I wondered why he had such a different reaction compared to our other two montages. He simply felt this deep connection with Daniel. Out of our kids he spent the most amount of time with him. Endless hours of  heavy talks during long car rides to and from the hundreds of out of town games. When our first child went off to college we were lucky he was commuting to CSUN. We became accustomed to having our now 21 year old college student living in our home and took pride and joy in the bond our three children shared. Finally after all these years they were not only getting along, but they were best friends. Preferring one another’s company sometimes over their friends. Always having each other’s backs.

So exactly a year ago, as Daniel’s college acceptances came in, there was a mixed bag of emotions bouncing around the Riche house. These were all California schools. Nothing far and earth shattering. Yet the thought of Daniel living anywhere but our home put my husband into tears. Even when our daughter went away to sleep away camp for all of 19 days he could not look at her empty room. So her door was closed until she came home. When Daniel chose San Diego State after visiting the campus his smile was priceless. and not just because of his adorable dimples. His happiness was my peace. As much as I kept reminding my husband of this he couldn’t help but miss his “butterhead.” He knew as a rational man, and caring father that this how things were supposed to be. You raise your little birds to fly the nest, and spread their wings, …blah, blah, blah. Yes, he knew this and was beyond happy for our boy let alone bursting with pride for his new found independence and maturity… Yet he still misses him every single day. I always say that we are spoiled parents having our son only a 3 hour drive away. I point out to my husband all the time that we are so lucky he is not thousands of miles away across the country like most of the children of our friends. He is quick to say there is no way he could handle that. But he is also proud of it. He feels blessed to have such a deep bond with our son. He feels grateful that he misses him so much to the point of tears. Love hurts and it is also to be celebrated. It seems to be the mom who is typically the hysterical parent, out of control crying each time her baby leaves again. Our friends joke around and say I am married to a girl. I wouldn’t have it any other way. . . . 

 

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