End of an Era Apr30

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End of an Era

Last weekend, our beloved dog Sophie moved on to wherever the cutest, most loving doggies go when they leave us…

And it’s got me thinking.

For the past four years, since our first son went off to college, I’ve imagined from time to time what life would be like when it was time for our second one to go.  I have comforted myself by thinking that when both boys are finally gone, at least I’ll have Sophie. The only one who’s unabashedly overjoyed to see me come through the door. The only one who still allows me to rub their belly.

Guess it’s time to re-imagine.

I’m already getting that wave of premature nostalgia coming on, like I did the summer before our firstborn flew the coop. It’s only a matter of months before the second one will depart.

It feels more final now somehow. No more kids around, filling us up in that wonderful way they do. They make every day different. They distract us from ourselves. They are smack dab in the middle of living, with all the energy and angst that comes with it. And they remind us to do the same just by their very presence.

Now, I won’t even have the dog around.

It’s not that I don’t love and appreciate my husband or look forward to the next phase in our lives. I really do. I know having the house to ourselves will be kind of novel and fun, and it will be great to get together more with friends we love. I’m really looking forward to more spontaneity in my life.

And it’s not that my relationship with my kids is over. It’s just changing. I know from experience how amazing it is to watch your kids blossom as adults and nurture a different kind of connection with them.

So what is it? Why the tears?

It is the end of an era. Of a most wonderful, challenging, enriching time in my life as a mother. It’s about letting that part go (isn’t this wild and crazy parenting ride all about letting go from the start?) and being open to the next part… to the riches that are yet to come.

I’ll get there…

 

 

 

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